You ever Skype with someone and you noticed they're not paying attention to you? Like you can see their eyes move side to side reading a comment or message on their chat. And all they say is "uh huh" or "...yeah."

Its been six days since I last kissed my fiance and its killing me that I can't be there next to her to kiss her good morning and good night every day and night. I can't be there to take care of her while she is sick the past few weeks. Pretty much all I can do is text and call. It sucks.

Can't these next to two days go by any faster please?

I'm back home again away from my fiance. Its hard saying good bye. The night before I leave is always emotional, tears always fall. The day of is even worse especially the moment when we're at the airport and its our last kiss, hug, and scent until we meet again.

The last day my fiance and I had a little talk about her friend. I told her how I felt when she is hanging with her friend. I told her how jealous I feel and afraid I could lose everything. She told me I'm her priority, the one she's gonna spend the rest of her life with, and mentioned the names of the kids we were gonna name when we have them. Her voice and the way she said it made me realize how much she really loves me.

As much as she shows her emotions and her feelings its less frequent as it was before she moved. She gets text messages from her so-called friend and she hides her phone or she keeps her phone face down. It feels like I'm slowly being her old favorite bag and she found a new bag she likes. It could be me overthinking things but that's just me.

This past weekend has been so much fun with my fiance. We got to move into my fiance's new rental which we both got to organize. The house that she lives in is in a nice neighborhood, it seems quiet and pretty clean. Its a two story house where the landlord uses the second floor as a care home for three patients. My fiance's room is big enough for a desk and and cabinet for her make up, a twin size bed, a small TV stand at the end of her bed, a decent size drawer, and a mini fridge with about a four feet by four feet of room in the middle to walk. Her closet is humongous for all her clothes that she can't fit in her drawer. Everything we picked up for her room is colorful, mostly pink and purple.

Thank goodness for being in the military and having the NEX near, we got majority of my fiance's things from there. Most of this past weekend has been trying to find the necessities for her room until my fiance starting catching a cold. I think it might have been from the rainy weather that we walked through when we walked the street while we serviced our car. Or maybe she caught it from someone else but by the end of the weekend she felt really sick and weak. I felt so sorry for her I wish I could be sick for her so that she would be healthy instead. We had a day to go job hunting but with her being sick we had to cancel finding jobs for another day.

As the weekend went by the days came closer to when I would be leaving. Time flies so fast when you're spending each second with the person you love. I didn't want our time together to end and I didn't want to leave my fiance by herself in the big city. Our last night was nice, we were super tired and slept like logs. It was the morning after that sucked. I didn't want to leave, I didn't want to wake up to reality. I hate seeing my fiance cry. She cried a few nights before we left to the city and new she was crying before I had to leave back home. It didn't hit me yet until after my fiance dropped me off, said our goodbyes, and was sitting at the gate reading my fiance's letter she wrote me. It hit me really hard straight to the heart.

The pass couple days have been so nice to spend time with my fiance here back home. Even though its not as glamorous and entertaining as Vegas, we seem to spend more quality time together than spend quality time together spending. Yesterday after work we spent our time together doing my fiance's laundry at the laundry mat. I never seen so much laundry in my life. Three washing machines fully loaded then six dryers which took us around four hours to finish. We did have a nice dinner though, teri fried chicken, fried saimin, and loco moco, while waiting for the clothes to wash.

Today I left early from work to pick up my fiance and go to my knee appointment. While driving to my appointment we both decided that instead of our practitioner nurse just look at my knee and tell me to come back in two weeks for the seventh time, we decided to schedule a MRI. Since my fiance likes to starve herself in the mornings we decided to get something to eat. Right before I was about to order some food, I realized I left my wallet in my backpack which I left at home. Luckily my fiance had ten dollars to buy a plate lunch and a drink. After our meal we headed home so that we could pay for my fiance's beauty school online. Took a nice little power nap together then after we woke up I forgot what I said but we had a good laugh at the way I beat around the bush and yawn at the same time. Its funny how she always catches me in the act when I do my weird things. I love how she makes fun of it, its priceless.

We just got back from our Vegas trip this morning and I am stumped. Same as heading to Vegas, we took the red eye back home. Luckily this time we slept through the six hour flight across the Pacific Ocean. Rushed to our connecting flight for nothing, we ended up waiting at our gate for a good hour. Ate at our favorite loco moco spot because we were starving, drove home and we slept another good 4 hours. All I know is, this past week was the best week I've ever had with my fiance and I wished it didn't end. Now that reality has come back I have 10 days left to spend with the women I love before she moves to pursue her education in what she loves the most. I wish I could move with her to pick her up when she is down, to cheer her up when she is sad, just being next to her while she starts this new beginning on her own. I know we will still be an airplane away, I know we can call, skype, facetime, and text but not being able to be eye to eye hugging and kissing the person you love, smelling your loves scent, and feeling her heart beat hurts so hard.

It's the final night of our week long vacation in Vegas. Our trip has been so much fun with so much shopping, seeing the lights at night, great food, shopping, KA Show, New York New York roller coaster, shopping, tattoo, casinos, buffets, more shopping, getting lost finding our way around Vegas, walking the strip, and did I say shopping? I think my fiancé had the time of her life here. She knows how to shop. (-.-) She loved the big city life atmosphere. She didn't like the driving even though she didn't drive. The traffic here is crazy and it's hard to find your way around. Slowly I got use to driving and finding our way around. The city is so messy, there are so many people handing out escort cards, pamphlets, cd demos, club tickets, and other rubbish scattered all over the place. We did get to do some things that I wanted to do. We both got matching tattoos. I got to watch the Bellagio fountains, Mirage volcano, and ate dinner on top the stratosphere with the women I love. The whole trip with her was the greatest days of my life. I will never forget this week. So here I am lying in bed exhausted from this long day walking the strip. Watching my fiancé sleep right next to me makes me feel like the luckiest man in the world. She told me that she every night she tried to put the blanket on me whenever she felt me freezing at night. I thought that was the sweetest thing I've ever heard.i love her so much and I don't know what I'm gonna do when she moves an island away from me.

Me: Hey sexy lady!

Fiance: Hey love

Me: I'm just thinking of you. I get sad every time I think about June 10th. I wanna be strong, happy, and supportive of you. I never thought I'd be this emotional but it just hurts thinking you won't be a drive away from me. I love you sweeitie with all my heart.

==

She called me after that text. I was still wiping my tears from trying to write that text. Then when I heard her voice on the phone, I couldn't help but tear up. I could hear her choke up on the phone. I knew she couldn't hold in her tears but at the same time I didn't mean to make her feel that way while at work. At that moment I just wanted to be next to her, drying her tears and holding her tight, I knew she loved me.

As much as I had a wonderful time with the person I love the most, it hurts every time I think (or even see) about those messages. Every time I think about the things she said about us recently has been hard to really believe.